Praise the Lord!
FINALLY!! Joey and Pacey have kissed! Yayyyyyyyyy.
Commence Happy Excited Gif Party:
God, the 90s were incredible, weren’t they?
Dance
It’s time for the big dance! In this episode of Dawson’s Creek, Scott Foley shows up to make me the happiest girl in the world, Dawson gets kissing lessons from his old man, and Mrs. Leery proves she is terrible at being sneaky (and faithful for that matter).
Let’s get one thing straight: Joey does not want to kiss Pacey. She could not be more clear about that. When Dawson tries to convince her it is a movie, and her and Pacey are just playing characters, she responds with: “So he’s a sea-serpent from the deep, cite the difference.” Harsh. And totally off-base. Pacey is super cute, Joey, and his lips are definitely kissable. Deal with it. Also, Dawson’s movie does not look all that great. But I’ll cut him some slack because he is only 15, and is probably on a pretty tight budget.
I should also probably mention that while Joey is whining, Dawson is putting the finishing touches on one super awesome replica of Joey’s head. For reals, it’s pretty impressive for a high schooler:
They also talk about how Dawson has reserved his lips solely for Jen, but is waiting for the perfect, most romantic and probably non-existent moment before he makes the move. Joey reminds him that Jen is from New York, and is thus a super-skank. Ok she actually said that Jen is from New York, where “things move faster,” but we all know this is what she is actually thinking.
The next day at school, Dawson manages to weasel his way into Mr. Gold’s film class. He not supposed to participate whatsoever, but I have this strange feeling that won’t be what happens. Dawson just doesn’t seem like the kind of kid who can keep his mouth shut (or rather, he just CAN’T stop himself from saying something super articulate and heartfelt).
Pacey meets Ms Jacobs in her classroom to be super obvious about the fact that they frenched the night before. Seriously, no one has ever been MORE obvious that they’ve been having a secret affair. Well, no one except maybe Mrs. Leery - but we’ll get to her later. He actually says to her, “Your tongue was in my mouth.” And he’s not even talking that quietly, even though there is a whole classroom full of students in front of them. And I’m pretty sure at least one kid knew what was up. Case in point:
As if Pacey wasn’t being stupid enough for the both of them, Ms Jacobs decides to be blatantly obvious during class. Going over “Wuthering Heights,” Tamara twists her lesson plan to send a message to Pacey: We should stop making out. She uses the relationship of Cathy and Heathcliff to basically tell Pacey they need to stop swapping spit. “Heathcliff and Catherine never belonged together. They never should have been together. Catherine was essentially a mess. Heathcliff was basically a decent guy who had a lot to learn about life. And who was inherently better off without some whimpering, mentally unstable wet rag following him around. Whole thing was wrong. Never should have happened.” Subtlety, thy name is Tamara. Err, maybe not. Tamara Jacobs, everybody: kissing teenage boys and shaping the nation’s youth (into terrible readers).
I was feeling pretty annoyed by Tamara and Pacey, but then who should appear make me feel 100x better? None other than Mr. Scott Foley! AKA Noel Crane, the one Felicity totally should have picked instead of that other guy. Now, it looks like he is playing a typical “popular jock asshole” type character, but I’m not giving up hope that some Noel-like qualities will soon start to appear. Anyway, Dawson is in film class, immediately disregarding the promise he made to keep quiet (what did I tell you?) Noel Cliff is the star quarterback, and the movie the class is making is based on his heroic football season the previous school year. Dawson is disgusted, because sports movies are so clichéd and pedestrian, unlike horror movies with lake monsters.
As if things couldn’t go any worse for our protagonist, Dawson spies Cliff hitting on Jen down the hall, who is totally digging it, because as Joey reminds us, “they move fast in New York.” And also probably because Scott Foley is super cute.
The next day, Dawson and his dad share a moment that makes me want to gauge my eyes out. Things started out okay - Dawson asks his dad for some kissing advice, and Mr. Leery shares a really sweet story about the first time he kissed his wife. Something to do with a boat, and wind, and chapstick. All very romantic. Then they have to ruin the moment by having Dawson practice kissing the fake Joey head in front of his own father. It made me super uncomfortable. Oh, and the real Joey is spying from the stairs, wishing Dawson was kissing her actual lips instead of the fake ones downstairs. The whole thing just felt so weird.
After this horrifying moment, we cut to Joey overhearing Mrs. Leery in the hall closet, making kissing noises over the phone to her supposedly secret boyfriend. She just really sucks at having affair, am I right? I feel like if I was ever stupid enough to have an affair (which I hope I never even attempt, cause it’s a crappy thing to do), I for sure wouldn’t 1) talk to my secret lover on my house phone while my husband was in the house and 2) I definitely wouldn’t hide in the closet making gross kissing noises to said lover. How would she have explained that to her husband if he happened to come up the stairs, or pick up the other line? I think maybe she wants to get caught. In any case, Joey is so not amused, and she can’t resist telling Mrs. Leery - “I know.”
After a long day of filming, Dawson is devastated to learn that Jen is going to the Dance with Cliff. After a long bout of complaining and whining to Joey, Dawson decided to go to the dance as well, and sweep Jen off her feet. The best part of that exchange: when Dawson morosely asks “What did [Cliff] do that I didn’t do?” Joey responds with “He asked her out.” ZING! Her delivery was just great.
So the two head to the dance, but not before Joey has a one on one with Mrs. Leery. Man, can that girl deliver a powerful guilt trip or what?! She even brings in her dead mother: “My mom got cancer and died, so you do the math!” I appreciate the passion, Joe, but to be honest I don’t understand what your mom’s death (as sad and terrible as that is) has to do with a cheating spouse. The point is: Joey is pissed, and Mrs. Leery better watch her back (and maybe stop having sex with someone other than her husband. Just a thought).
Once in the school gymnasium, we learn that Cliff is a terrible, and I mean TERRIBLE dancer. It was almost cute with how dorky it was. But then it just got bad again. Elsewhere, Pacey hits on Tamara for what feels like the millionth time. And Dawson forces Joey to dance with him so he can get closer to Jen on the dance floor. And that thing that only happens in movies happens - when the couple goes to the dance floor, ready for some awkward fast dancin’ and BAM, slow, romantic song starts playing. I always hoped that would happen to me, but of course it never did. Katie Holmes has a great moment where she both expresses how happy Joey is to be slow dancing with Dawson, while also subduing that emotion so he doesn’t notice (if that makes sense at all). She really makes me think that Dawson is being such a stupid teenage boy, completely blind to the hot girl who is, literally, right in front of him.
After the slow dance, Dawson further cements his stupidity with this little doozy: “It’s like the way I feel about you. She could be you, except… she’s Jen.” Joey understandably bails, leaving Dawson to try and cut in on Jen and Cliff’s dance, resulting in general disaster. Cliff’s “What’s going on? This is too weird.” was priceless. Jen storms off, leaving Dawson to mope his way home with Pacey and Joey. That is, until he spots Jen doing her own moping alone on the boardwalk, and he delivers one of those beautiful, heartfelt speeches he does so well. Jen forgives him for his idiocy and they share a dance.
Back at the Leery household, Mr. and Mrs. Leery re-enact their first kiss, and Mrs. Leery gets freaked out by how much a poo she is being:
On his way home, Pacey runs in to Tamara again. Blah, blah, “this is wrong,” “But I kissed you back, so it’s not wrong!” (incorrect Pace, it’s totally wrong). Pacey’s general adorableness wins over Tamara yet again, and she has no choice but to make out with him once more.
Final Thoughts:
Pretty strong follow up episode. Pacey and Tamara still gross me out, but I’m just going to try and wait that one out. Mrs. Leery is still really stupid, and needs to end this affair ASAP. Because Mr. Leery is actually really sweet, and cute, and seems like a super awesome husband. Dawson’s articulation got even better, which I wasn’t sure was possible after the pilot, but there you go. Jen admits things were moving a little fast for her in New York, and I’m guessing that’s not the last we will hear about that. Some scandalous stories are bound to pop up soon. Joey came off a lot less bitchy this episode, and I really do feel for the poor girl. It’s hard to compete with a blonde New Yorker, but I don’t think she will go down without a fight. And I really, really hope that we see Scott Foley again, because my life is better when he is on my TV.
Pilot
You know, when I think back to 1998, I don’t ever feel like it was THAT long ago. It certainly doesn’t feel like it’s been 13 years. But after watching the pilot for Dawson’s Creek, I can honestly say 1998 was a very long time ago. I’m judging this mostly by fashion, because let’s face it, fashion is always a telling sign of time passing. But man, did Katie Holmes and Michelle Williams wear some ill-fitting clothes in 1998. And don’t even get me started on Pacey’s shirts. Or Dawson’s hair.
Right, let’s get down to business. Dawson Leery is a 15 year old Speilberg fanatic who lives in the small town of Capeside. Did they ever say where Capeside was? Somewhere in the North East, I think. Can I just say that Capeside looks really, really pretty.
See. Pretty.
Dawson’s BFF is Joey, the tomboy-ish girl who wants to make sure Dawson knows that she has breasts. And genitalia. Which means they should probably cool it with the sleep-overs. Because, hello, they start high school tomorrow, and it’s weird for two 15 year olds with hormones and body hair and genitalia to have sleep-overs. I kind of agree with her. But Dawson isn’t feeling it. “What is with this when Harry met 80s crap? That doesn’t apply to us. We transcend it.” While I give him props for that awesome line, I’m not sure I believe him, especially after the pseudo-wrestling match on his bed.
The next morning we get to meet Pacey, and we learn that Dawson is making some B horror film with a lake monster a la Creature from the Black Lagoon. Joey and Pacey seem to really dislike each other, but it’s totally in that “hate turns to love” kind of way they like to do in the movies. Of course, I could just be seeing what I want to see, since I already know that Joey and Pacey eventually start to date.
Cue Michelle Williams, who’s arrival warrants a classic “hot girl slow motion” scene. Joey instantly hates her, because the boys are acting like boys do when they meet a pretty girl. Note: Michelle Williams kind of walks weird. We then get introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Leery who are emotionally scarring their son by going at it in the living room.
Joey travels by row boat back to her house, which I find really kick ass. Cars are overrated. She lives with her pregnant sister Bessie and her black boyfriend, who may or may not be in cooking school? I’m not entirely sure, but he is trying out a new recipe, which both Joey and Bessie find “orgasmic.” Either way, Joey has some serious attitude. I’m guessing it’s because there is a New Yorker invading Capeside, and probably Dawson’s heart. (yeah I just wrote that.)
Pacey and Dawson apparently work at a video rental store (how quaint, a video store!), and a sexy older lady comes in to rent The Graduate and make Pacey hyperventilate. She is seriously flirting with him, and it is making me uncomfortable. Not ok lady, he is 15. And you are definitely way older than that.
After work, Dawson finds Jen on the dock and pulls the super smooth line of asking her up to his “studio.” (studio meaning bedroom). While they are talking about his Speilberg love, Joey awkwardly hides on the ladder outside his window. You know, I really should have climbed in more windows when I was in high school. I think I seriously missed out on something.
The next day, we discover that Tamara, aka Mrs. Robinson, is actually a new teacher at the high school. Oh God. Please don’t let them have some scandalous affair. As cute as Joshua Jackson is, he is supposed to be 15, and she is WAY older than that. WRONG. I don’t like the flirting that is going on between them. She tells him she is going to the see a movie later that night, so of course Pacey convinces Dawson to help him stalk her there. Dawson invites Jen, and then because he is a clueless teenage boy, asks Joey to tag along so Jen doesn’t feel weird. I was feeling pretty bad for Joey, because I totally understand how it feels to be firmly planted in the friend-zone when you want something more, but then she ends up being super bitchy to everyone, and I feel less bad for her. I mean, she goes kind of crazy for a bit, and actually refers to Dawson’s penis size. “Long fingers.” Oh Joey…
Meanwhile, Pacey sees Tamara, and proceeds to act like an idiot until he gets punched in the face by some big beefy guy. I would say that sucks, except he was talking really loudly during a movie, and I’m a firm believer that all movie-talkers should be violently punished. I mean, he was totally ruining Waiting for Guffman!
Dawson walks Jen home, and before they get a chance to kiss, Grandma Judgment shows up at the door, to you know, judge. Jen disappears into the house, but not before telling Dawson he has clear skin and explaining that things were crappy in New York. Oh, and she is going to just pretend they kissed, cause what teenage boy doesn’t love that? He was really jazzed about it.
On his way home, Pacey runs into Tamara again. His face looks pretty gross. He rightfully calls her on all the bullshit she’s been pulling, what with the flirting with a teenage boy and all that. He then says something that made me throw up in my mouth a little: “You blew it lady. ‘Cause I’m the best sex you’ll never have.” Instead of laughing in his face, Tamara somehow finds this irresistible, and says an equally nausea inducing line: “You’re right about one thing. You’re not a boy.” Then they make-out. UGH. Just shoot me now.
Dawson arrives back in his studio to find Joey hiding in his closet? Because that’s normal. They share their confused feelings about growing up and being friends, and Joey leaves defeated when Dawson refuses to tell her about his masturbation practices. She tearfully runs back to her little row boat to some melancholy music. But wait! Dawson leans out his window and yells for her. “Usually in the mornings! To Katie Couric!” As weirded out as that would have made me in real life, in the context of Dawson’s Creek it actually made me really happy. They can still tell each other everything! It was really rather sweet.
That sweetness was quickly ruined when Joey spotted Mrs. Leery kissing her co-anchor Bob good-night. Way to be discrete Mrs. Leery. You probably shouldn’t be kissing your boyfriend in front of the house you share with your husband and son. Who taught you to have an affair, anyway?
So, final thoughts:
It may be a little cheesy, but overall I enjoyed the pilot. Even though I am really hating his storyline already, Pacey is too cute not to be my favorite. He’s just so adorable! But seriously, I hope this thing with the teacher doesn’t last very long, because it is really grossing me out. Joey can be a real bitch sometimes, but I get that she is a moody teenager, most likely in love with her clueless best friend, so I am going to cut her some slack. Plus she has a dad in prison and a dead mother - that can’t be easy. Dawson is likable enough, and he is very earnest - I would have totally dated him in high school. Jen is just “meh” for me so far.
